Last year I jumped through hoops of fire to skirt the age question.  I just didn’t want people to know I was 44, because that meant they’d know I’d be 45 next, and then that would just categorize me as old.  I’d be boring, old, uninteresting, and well, just old.


Moi, a few months before my 45th birthday. Pas mal, pas mal…?

I didn’t expect this year to be any different. I dreaded the days leading up to this new year, but I woke up on a special Thursday morning and felt weirdly rejuvenated and extra alive.  I owned 45 and I loved it.  There is a certain wisdom and confidence acquired only through experience and age. I earned 45.  I deserve 45.


My Suburbia Birthday, 40 years ago


In honor of this magnificent age, I’m sharing 4 things I’ve learned to cultivate my soul, and 5 things I’ve learned about nurturing my body.  You can probably see that they are a cross-fit of tried-and-true-real-life-what-works-for-me advice.  Take what you feel from these tasty nuggets…and you can make whatever delish-ish-nish you desire:

For the Soul:

  • Balance spontaneity with responsibility: Don’t be a stick in the mud and don’t forget about your bills.  There’s nothing more mundane than being a hard core, close-minded, stuck-in-your-ways kind of person.  There’s also nothing more annoying than being flighty and flakey. One tells everyone you’re old and fuddy-duddy.  The other tells everyone you’re immature and unreliable.  Too much of either is neither chic nor sophisticated.  In the words of Depeche Mode, “Get the Balance Right.”
  • Plug in to a creative outlet:  I firmly believe that this is the doorway to your soul.  If you’ve forgotten your creative way, think back to what you loved to do as a child before you had to get a job and pay bills. When you are creative, you will find your happiness and purpose, I promise.
  • Don’t think too much: I learned this kinda later in life.  Up until the ripe age of 36ish, I’d definitely describe myself as an over-analyzer because it made me feel smart and responsible.  Only until my best friend flat out told almost scolded me that I was exhausting my brain on certain subjects, did I give this judgment some thought.  She said I thought too much about certain people, relationships, ideas, risks, outcomes.  She was right.  I over-thought as a result of fear, which paralyzed me, which was sad. Sometimes I wonder what I could have been doing right this second if I’d been less-thinking and more feeling. But then I realize that I’m over-thinking…
  • Have delicious goals: Before, I thought that having goals meant being serious, and being serious meant being old.  Like my parents. I didn’t want to be like that, so I didn’t want goals becasue I’d be grouchy, my face would crinkle, and my head would sprout grey-hair-galore.
  • Hang out with humans under the age of 6:  These are the little angels that are still pure and whole, full of heart and soul. They are like therapy, reminders of the love within you. If you don’t feel different after hanging out with these gifts, you’re either doing it wrong or perhaps you found a couple of demons.  Je ne sais pas.

On Beauty:

  • Shake the sugar:  For me, I noticed that the days of eating whatever and whenever died out beginning around the age of 39-40.  I remember feeling bloated constantly and I couldn’t understand why.  I tried so many different herbs, diet theories (not diets, per se, but just ideas…) and I finally realized that reducing sugar was the magic answer.  I try very hard not to eat anything with more that 9 grams of sugar per serving and I try to not have these things past 7-8pm.  What a difference this has made for me.  My thick as thieves waist has reduced and I can still wear clothes from my high school self. I’m not complaining about this.
  • Look alive: Sadly, we just look more tired naturally with age.  There are many many remedies and fixes but if I had to choose just a couple, these would be it: use eye cream like your life depends on it (cuz it does) and curl your eyelashes. Moisture makes everyone look younger and healthy.  Eyelashes (like anything else) pointed to the sun says “I’m awake” without words.
  • Glow with the Flow:  Moisture, mes amies, moisture.  Are you catching my drift, or I should say, flow?  Looking dewy and hydrated brings a glorious glow-on and this is so important for mature skin.  Let’s not forget about kissing and smiling- two very very very important must-do’s in life.  Always be delightfully prepared for either activity at all times!
  • Exercise and Stretch:  I’m terrible at running and hitting the gym and doing repetitive motions.  I’m terrible because I hate it because it is boring as hell.  To me, that is. I am so incredibly grateful to have found tennis again because not only am I getting some cardio into my life, but I’m building muscles while laughing and using my brain.  To relieve my body muscles (and my mind muscle), I yoga.  Balancing out the competitive fun with a soulful stretch feels complete and right (for me!).
  • HAVE FUN: I feel grateful that the face I’ve earned is still in pretty good shape.  I swear that the most important factor I can attribute to this is that I truly believe we are meant to have fun in this life.  Find the ways and things that bring fun, smiles, and laughter to your life.  You will forever be in-style, chic, hip, cool, and absolutely the most beautiful you that you’re meant to be.

And one final tidbit, everything meant for you is delivered in a perfectly presented package and delivered at just the right time. Enjoy the ride, take cues from the universe, and speak the language of enthusiasm. #foreveryoung

I've earned this 45 year old face

I’ve earned this 45 year old face

When Your Besties Go Solid Gold with You

When Your Younger-than-You-Besties Go Solid Gold with You