I love the end.
End of the day, end of the night, end of season.
End of an era, end of administrations, end of disasters, end of a trend, end of a relationship.
Maybe it’s because I grew up in a cul-de-sac, the word for “dead-end” en Francais.
Or maybe simply because “the end” is the pregnant pause to stop, breathe, and reflect.
At the end are opportunities.
As my end of the year approaches, I jot down the standout, ah-ha moments that shaped it. Moments of the heart, moments of gratitude, moments of flat-out fun. I do this so that I can apply my learnings to the future.
Upon embarkation of this seemingly exciting exercise, I’m almost embarrassed to say that at first thought I feel like a semi-failure. I didn’t do enough. I didn’t do more. More what, you ask? Good question!
I catch this “being negative” thing and re-focus on all the things I did do, in order. Like:
January: I committed to being fully present and especially grateful in 2019. I started creating daily to-do/ checklists. I compiled my collection of girl stuff content wrote a workbook for girls. I cut bangs.
February: I planned vision boarding parties. I was there (for my dog and my boyfriend and myself) when our dog passed.
March: I launched my first Confidence Club for sixth grade girls.
April: I was hired and *paid* as a life coach for the first time.
May: My daughter and I saw Depeche Mode with my childhood friends. I launched part 2 of the Confidence Club.
June: I navigated through some stressful and head spinning stuff at work. I drank Manhattans almost every night. I KonMari’d one dresser. My best friend flew me out to celebrate her birthday and we saw Depeche Mode in Boston.
July: Daughter got her license. We spread the ashes of our dog while camping at Porcupine Lake. I created my own vision board. A major part of my vision board came true within weeks! I felt magic and restored faith in myself and the universe.
August: I traveled to Europe with my boyfriend and visited new countries and made new friends. I rejuvenated my spirit and soul.
September: Reality check: it’s my only-child’s last year of high school. Committed to more engagement and savoring every moment with her. Saved a 3 ½ week old kitty.
October: My new driver drives to school and starts college applications. She turned 17 and me, 47. Saved a 9 week old kitty.
November: Received good financial news from my October efforts. Some college apps out the door. Re-focused on creativity and my own business. Brainstormed, shared, and have potential investors! Started wearing (and bought) new makeup.
I wrote this list off the cuff. It took approximately 15 minutes. I didn’t look at my calendar but used my memory instead so that it was spontaneous and soulful, unedited and unabridged.
I didn’t include explanations because explanations are just excuses to justify what I did or didn’t do. And I don’t need to justify anything to anyone because I know who I am, I know my truth, my reality. It’s my dream and I’m the only one living it.
I’m not being sassy with this attitude but rather honest with myself. I see myself and my actions with my own eyes wide open. And today, I know exactly why my year turned out the way it did. I did things.
I feel better.
If you’re feeling a little anxiety or pressure about the imminent end of the year and all the things you haven’t done or need to cram into 30 days, try this:
When/if you feel your brain making your glass half empty, shift and refocus on the completed and fulfilled. Does your glass still look like the victim of a very thirsty plastic straw? Make it look more like a whiskey with one single chunk of ice. You know, the kind those fancy bartenders pick off a huge block for fun and flair? Even your non-implemented good ideas and intentions are valuable and meaningful. They came to your universe for a reason and perhaps they are meant to come to life in 2019.
If you keep an open mind, keep your eyes wide open, and be enthusiastic and curious to learn, you’ll see that everything you need is all around you. You are where you’re meant to be.
Now go on and enjoy the rest of 2018. The best is yet to come!