So so so so…

A friend of mine is newly single.  I personally find this exciting, liberating, and a great excuse to have a Fourth of July party.  It is September.  While, sure, we are both sad that her relationship ultimately didn’t work out, we know of a few great things that keep us uplifted and charged. Yes, I say US, because I’m a great supportive friend, yo!  Remember cheries, change is not bad!  Going through it can be a killer, but remember it won’t kill you.  It will make you stronger…or build character…or something like that.

A few things to look forward to as a newly single, as I see it:

More ME time:  Well of course.  Now before you allow your tears to well up with the thought of being ALONE, note: you love you.  The most.  You are a wonderfully open-minded creature in search of new things to try, and now you have a more time to do them.  You have more time to put your makeup on as impeccably as those cosmetic magicians on YouTube.  You can try that new half-up-do or fishtail braid in the morning.  You have more time to sleep in. You have more time to shop, to socialize, to pack your face and hair with mud.  You have more time to sugar scrub your feet and toes and more time for you to get your bod back in its natural-killer-figure form.  And believe me, you’ll want this.

Get to Know You. Again: Because you have one less distraction, you will acquire a newfound acute awareness of sense and self.  You’ll realize that you have mistakenly or perhaps accidently put yourself “not-first” during your commitment. Though this is of your own doing, you must now come to terms with the fact that you are 50% responsible for this relationship’s Terminus.  Yes, OF COURSE you contributed somehow.  Whether it was by being too nice or not nice enough, you contributed.  But, please know that it’s ok because this life is about living, learning, applying, evolving.  Do not fret, you’re aware and you’re re-focusing back on YOU.  This will be a life chapter of incredulous-ness in itself.

Increased Gorgeousness: Imagine a veil of the most sought-after elixir that delivers the most coveted dewy glow.  It is so valuable that it bears no price tag.  It bears no price because you can’t even buy it.  I’ll call this “ORY” or “Organically Restored Youthfulness” and guess what?  You have it.  We all have it.  I know because I have first-hand experience that this exists.  Let me just say that at the time I separated from my ex-husband, I also needed to figure out how to be solely responsible for another human being.  I had a 4-month old attached to my breast, wasn’t quite back to my pre-baby shape form, and apparently was very stressed because half of my face looked like a pot-holed freeway, full of acne.  After I settled into my separation and got a divorce, POOF!  I morphed into the most beautiful version of me (over time of course).  Not bragging at all here, I’m often asked…what’s my secret to my special youthful glow.  Sure, I have some Asian blood and a rounder face, but I truly believe this is the formula for success: Less stress + letting go +optimism + positivity + smiles (can you not with a beautiful babe in tote?) + self-love.  And then I concocted one of my favorite personal taglines: “Divorce.  The ultimate luxury.”

And remember, if it’s meant to be that you’re meant to be, you will be.  

This may be because he will develop some incredible intelligence that was previously non-existent.  And because of his new cerebral acquisition, he appreciates you for you, understands you, and absolutely cannot live without you.  And you are ok with that, because…

You are now back-to-you you, in full effect, in full form.  You are feeling on top of the world.  You are a warrior, a goddess, a muse, a boss, a sexy kitten, a femme fatale…and you ooze this, you glow this, so go with this. I’m not promising that you’ll end up with a white dress and a ring on it, but I am saying that now, if it happens, it is right.  It’s happening the right way, in the right time, because it is with the right you.  You’ve found yourself again, you’ve evolved yourself again, you’ve enlightened yourself again.   

And here’s a few little tasty side dishes, ladies:

  1. Make sure your breakup is no LESS than a month long. Less than that isn’t really quite a breakup, it is a break. Go for gusto!  Make it count! 
  2. Build a stash of cash that’s just for you and you alone. Start now for those rainy days…n’est-ce pas?!
  3. Do not ever think about getting married before you’re 30.
    1. (Think about whether or not you EVER want to be married)
  4. Celebrate YOU. Every. Damn. Day.
  5. Know that whatever you want in life, you can have.  So be careful and generous with what you wish for!

♥ a bisous from me to you